Forget Me Not
by aki fukashi
Summary: [HaoYoh][one-shot] Hao bids a fond farewell to the one thing he loved. His everything.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own or claim to own Shaman King. 

**A/N**: Warnings for twincest and mild shounen-ai. The point of view switches in this fic as well. Gomen if it gets confusing.

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**Forget Me Not  
**By: aki fukashi

-

Here I drift in limbo with but one thought racing through my mind.

You should have accepted.

But you declined. Or more so, you rejected forcefully. It's a fact that will haunt me, brother, for the entirety of this pointless existence.

Death? Is not so bad. Even better than living, perhaps. There is no longer the restriction of the human body and its pathetic limitation. But the futile regrets of life carry over, and there is no method to reverse this heavy remorse. And know, brother, that you are the cause. For you, I haunt this barren wasteland, this earth, knowing I could have made it a better place.

It is ironic that I, the most powerful being to transcend time, failed to accomplish that simple little task. And I have no one else to blame but you.

Yet still, I cannot hate you.

Because you and I, we are one.

Yoh, why did you push me away? I would have built the perfect world, just for the two of us.

-

Sometimes I wonder if you are out there, watching me. Watching _us_, waiting for your chance. Sometimes I wonder if you will come back and resume your life-long mission.

To destroy humanity.

But other times, I know you still dwell in the world of the living, an essence filled with pain.

I wish you would let me help you, but you are stubborn. Do you know that? You believe your ideals are right in every way. You are flawless, and I am only a small piece of your grand perfection.

I wish we could have been more like brothers, growing up together, learning together, loving together. But you were always in a different league than I. Your dreams of world domination contrast my life goal of living a peaceful life with no worries. We are different.

But maybe this all can change now.

I know that a day will come, when you arrive at my doorstep or in my dreams. And when that day comes, let me heal your soul.

-

It has been three years, Yoh.

And I will come to you now, on the night of the New Year. There is so much left unspoken, so much left unknown. I sometimes wonder if I am coming too early. Is three years enough? Do you still bear a grudge? Or perhaps it is too late. Three years, you could have forgotten all about me.

For I am merely a shadow, darkening your world. And so easily I disappeared, powerless against the blinding light that drives me away.

But as I sit on your window, I am greeted with that luminous smile. The smile that belongs to you and you alone, the smile that looks so very much like my own, but is far different. There is only one thing I can say.

"Why, Yoh?"

You turn towards me, surprised, having not sensed my presence.

"Aniki!" you exclaim.

I want to smile. And I do.

"Why?" I ask, this time perhaps a little more fiercely. Because I want to know the answer to the question that has burdened my soul these long, long years.

You are confused.

"Why what?"

You are innocent.

"Why did you reject me?"

You do not understand. And I explain.

When became a part of me, we were one. We were whole. I extended my hand, I offered -- you may argue that I used a _tad_ bit of force, but that's all just a technicality -- myself, and asked for you in return.

At first you seemed to comply. When you and I became one, a union witnessed by the Great Spirit itself, I felt you drifting inside me. I felt the piece of me that was always missing lock back into place.

But just as quickly, you opened your eyes. And you pushed me away and, to put it quite bluntly... you killed me.

You smile sadly as I finish.

"Gomen. There should have been another way... It was a hasty act and everyone deserves a second chance. Gomen, aniki."

You didn't answer my question. And I let it drop. This is what your company does to me, little brother. I am at peace.

-

I knew you would come.

Anna went out on a small errand, so it was just the two of us. I didn't realize you were there at first... and I didn't expect the very first question that came from your mouth.

"_Why, Yoh?"_

I didn't understand, and I don't think I ever will. It's been quite a while, hasn't it? But still, we are just too different, I realize.

So I said so.

"We're different, ne, aniki?"

You look puzzled.

"What makes you say that?" you inquire.

You seem comfortable suddenly, perching there on my window. And you haven't changed a bit.

I want to understand you. So I continue.

"You want to destroy humans, I want to live among them--"

Before I can continue, you interject.

"For a worthwhile reason. I want to destroy humans for a _purpose_."

"I love. You... hate."

You look pained, but quickly cover it with a blank, teasing expression.

"I have a heart too, otouto. I'm not incapable of loving, believe it or not," you state jovially.

And then you go on.

"You know, we're not really different."

Really?

"We both fight for something we love."

What do you mean?

"You fight for Anna-san."

Yes, among others, I admit to myself.

"And I fight for... you."

And I am speechless.

-

There, Yoh. I have admitted. Why am I fighting? To rid the world of humans, yes. But, I want to create a paradise for the two of us. We won't have to worry about nature decaying around us as more and more cities are built. We won't have to worry about those who mock us for our gift to see and integrate with spirits. We won't have to worry about anything but each other.

And so there is my confession.

And so I am relieved of the weight on my heart. And so healed is this soul of mine.

The time has come. I have wandered on this earth far too long. Finally, I am able to pass on.

You still haven't said anything, though. I have confessed, and I wonder if you hate me for it. Either way, it's best I be off.

I place my hand over my heart, and bid you these final departing words.

"I am taking you with me."

You stare at me, mouth slight agape. I smile, showing I mean it only in a metaphorical sense. And I feel my spirit lightening as I do so. I am sure I am fading away, little by little in front of you. Becoming more and more transparent, until you cannot see me at all.

I close my eyes.

And that is when your words reach my ears, as you place your hand over your own heart and respond.

"And I'm keeping you here."

A single tear trails down my cheek, in sync with the shooting star as it streaks through the sky.

Your memory I will keep, and promise you will not forget me.

Goodbye, my everything.

-

**End**

**-**


End file.
